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musings for momma
by Sharon Rosen
first cell phone
After months of nudging, cajoling, and outright begging from oldest daughter,
we gave in. We found ourselves in Verizon with our oldest daughter, about
to buy her….gulp! Her first cell phone.
In my daughter’s mind, acquisition of a cell phone ranked with the
deliverance of manna from heaven. In my mind, getting her a cell phone
created an avalanche of doubt. Did she really need it? Would she be talking
on it all the time? How many minutes should we allow? Why was getting
her a cell phone such a big deal to me?
For her, this object, an electric pink “razor” phone, represents
parental independence, social connection and pre-teen dignity. To me,
her first cell phone signifies the first of many firsts looming around
the corner: lengthy chats about cute boys, first dates, first kisses,
first heartbreaks – leading to even lengthier chats about who broke
up with whom and why. Of course, I didn’t verbalize any of these
maternal concerns while sitting in Verizon with oldest daughter. Rather,
I struggled to be cool and not make embarrassing observations in a public
place. I get enough eye-rolling from oldest daughter just by trying to
keep my mouth shut.
My husband and I held out for months. Despite her protestations that “all
of her friends” had cell phones, we took an informal poll of parents
of 11- and 12-year-olds. The results surprised us. Some of the parents
got cell phones for their nine-year-olds, while others planned on waiting
until their kids were high-schoolers.
Oldest daughter, of course, argued that a lot of her friends got cell
phones in 6th grade, at age 10 or 11. Giving here a cell phone in elementary
school seemed unnecessary to me. Our daughter’s school was walking
distance from home and if she ever needed to contact us, she could always
go to the school office and ask to borrow the phone. Of course she balked
at that. Apparently, asking to use the school phone is a demeaning indignity
for 10 to 12 year olds. My turn to roll my eyes. Come on, cell phones
didn’t exist when we were kids and we managed. We called from the
school office. Then we sat and waited for mom or dad to pick us up. Waited
being the operative word. Waiting also seems to be passé and uncool
these days. With the advent of cell technology and “everyone”
having a phone, why should one wait?
I’m not a huge cell phone fan, viewing them as a necessary evil.
I don’t like the idea that I can be tracked down anytime, anyplace.
Although I should be used to it, because my mother knew how to track me
long before cell phones existed. In 1978, when I was 16, Mom paged me
at the local Baskin-Robbins. Her sixth sense knew I was there. She placed
an order for Jamoca Almond Fudge.
These days, cell technology has replaced parents’ sixth sense. According
to prevailing wisdom, to be a responsible parent you must have a cell
phone. Even I was taken aback when an old college friend with pre-teen
daughters told me she didn’t have a cell phone. How did she function,
I wondered. What did she do in case of emergency? That’s when I
realized I too had succumbed to the technology trap of cell phone equals
immediate connection equals responsible parenting. Although I’m
not sure I’d want to return to pre-cell phone existence. Cell phones
provide comfort in trying situations; i.e., when stuck in traffic, when
someone is ill, or when a kid is missing.
As the Verizon sales guy called our name, my cell phone dilemma/existential
crisis screeched to a halt. Time to make some real decisions. I took out
my archaic, dented cell phone to show the sales guy. The 13-year-old boy
waiting next to us laughed out loud at my phone, causing oldest daughter
still more humiliation on my account.
The sales guy informed us that if my daughter got the razor and we signed
up for a joint calling plan, I could get a free upgrade to a rubber coated
phone that wouldn’t dent when I dropped it. Upgrade time had arrived.
So she got her pink razor, I upgraded, and we signed up for the basic
joint calling plan of 700 minutes. Since I only use about 150 minutes
a month, this plan gives oldest daughter plenty of leeway. May she use
her share of the minutes wisely, because when I upgraded I learned how
to track minutes…
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