Toby Dorfman and the secular humanists find religion in ritual and reason
Sue Garson
Escondido resident Toby Dorfman is one of the leaders of the Jewish Humanist Movement, founded in 1963 by Reform Rabbi Sherwin Wine of Detroit, Michigan. Headquartered in Farmington Hills, Michigan, there are 40 communities in the U.S. and Canada; others are in Australia, Belgium, France, Israel, Mexico, Russia, Uruguay, and England. The local chapter - the Humanistic Jewish Congregation of San Diego - began in 1985. Founders originally met in a living room. Their first seder was held in a backyard. Today 175 members ranging in age from young students to octogenarians live throughout San Diego County; half the congregation's activities occur in North County where a great many congregants live. Other services are held in the congregation's meeting hall on Black Mountain Road.
Monotheism dictates that G-d underwrites the moral order. In Humanistic Judaism, G-d is irrelevant. Members reject the existence of G-d, assign to G-d a strictly spectator status or vacillate between the two notions; there are many shadings in between.
The Holocaust and its deeply anguished cry of "Why?" are prime arguments against a superior being's omnipotence. After an intense study of the history of the Jewish People and world history from a secular standard, Toby Dorfman concluded that this G-d is neither a just nor a merciful one. "G-d did not predetermine good and evil. It is the result of human action," explains Dorfman. "Evil is the result of a lack of conscience in a human being. There is no feeling of guilt in the person who commits evil. Therefore, it is not a supernatural act but one of a human being who lacks compassion and conscience," she continues. "I believe that gods are mythical characters created by humans to satisfy a human agenda." But this secular movement has not rejected Judaism. From an emotional and intellectual perspective, its members vigorously celebrate Jewishness at every opportunity.
Humanism focuses on human potential and achievement; human beings have the power to solve human problems. Secular humanism means being involved in the world, connecting to the world and having a responsibility to make it better.
Based on this definition of humanism, the San Diego Congregation wrote their holiday celebrations, Shabbat services, teachings in the Secular Jewish Sunday School, life cycle events including memorial services, bar/bat mitzvah, naming ceremonies and noncutting circumcisions. "I didn't want to leave my integrity as a humanist outside the synagogue doors in order to have the warmth and friendship of shared Jewishness. This offers me and others like me the reason why we don't assimilate out of Judaism. This is why we remain active, participating Jews and why we have pride in being members of an alternative Judaism. To maintain the integrity of the group, the Shabbat services - candlelighting, Kiddush, Motzi - are all experienced by adapting the means to praise the potential and achievements of human beings." During Services Dorfman wears the Hillel Tallit, which has only one fringe on it. "The tallit," she explains, "is a visible reminder of our connection to Law which is the essence of the Torah and Talmudic writings."
Roman slaves wore a head covering to designate their status as slaves. According to Dorfman, Jewish Orthodoxy took this symbol to represent the idea that they were slaves/servants to G-d, an idea she adamantly opposes, which is why she doesn't wear a kippah.
Born 69 years ago in Connecticut, Dorfman, a radiology technician for 30 years, moved to San Diego in 1972 and has been living for these past three decades with a retired San Diego schoolteacher who is also a member of the congregation. Her biological family, which includes three grandchildren, lives on the East Coast.
Dorfman's personal Judaic journey is a 40-year-long exodus. As a teenager she rebelled against her Orthodox upbringing when she read the Siddur that includes a prayer where men thank G-d for not being born female. As a bride she joined a conservative synagogue and by the time her only child was born, she belonged to a Reform temple so that her daughter would have Jewish peers. Eventually she wandered away from organized religion.
In 1978 she went to Israel as a Zionist volunteer with the idea of making Aliyah. She returned within six months. "It was deeply satisfying to be on a bus or in a restaurant or walking the streets of Jerusalem and realizing that I was living in a Jewish state - mentally, physically, and emotionally," she explains. "Then most Israelis were secular and approached Judaism from a cultural viewpoint rather than a religious one." She found this pluralism liberating and exhilarating. Further study of the Zionist movement taught Dorfman that secular Jews of different ideologies built Israel.
When she returned to the U.S. and was introduced to Secular Humanistic Judaism, Dorfman found a perfect fit for her atheism and her Judaism. A decade ago, she was ordained at the Secular Yeshiva of Humanistic Judaism, where she adopted philosopher Israel Goldstein's definition of a Jew: "Being a Jew in the broadest definition means first, the destiny of birth. Second, the act of choice - choosing to remain Jewish despite difficulties. Third, the act of cognition, learning to know the history and
literature of our People so as to understand its soul and appreciate its place in the world. Finally, the act of transmission, transmitting to the next generation our heritage and the will to carry it on so that the Jewish People may not perish from the earth."
"Humanistic Judaism offers an alternative to the conventional guilt and suffering, submission and supplication approach to Judaism and to life," Dorfman maintains. "The essential humanistic affirmation is that the individual person is the owner of his/her own life and no other authority be it G-d, rabbi, priest, secular power or appointed president may legitimately usurp that authority."
A typical Secular Humanistic service at San Diego's congregation includes Shabbat candlelighting rituals, songs, a lecture from Dorfman (which she prefers over the term "sermon"), question-and-answer sessions and an Oneg Shabbat. Cantor Deborah Davis and Dorfman have known each other for a dozen years. "Toby's extensive knowledge of Jewish history combined with humanistic philosophy kindled in me a desire to formalize my studies to become the first cantor in the Humanistic Jewish Movement," says Davis, who is vocalist and co-founder of the Second Avenue Klezmer Ensemble. Coincidentally, since the San Diego congregation began, there have been three madrikhot - all female.
Although she now considers herself semi-retired, Dorfman teaches Jewish History, Hebrew Bible and Comparative Religion to Continuing Education students in Rancho Bernardo and conducts two Shabbats per month as well as life cycle ceremonies and lots of weddings. "After I did 200 wedding ceremonies, I stopped counting," says Dorfman, who also co-officiates at inter-faith marriages.
One might expect for a sect that rejects the idea of G-d to struggle for acceptance in the Jewish community. But Secular Humanistic Judaism is rather widely accepted as a legitimate form of Judaism (although many religious Jews are repulsed by the idea). In Philadelphia and Detroit, Humanistic Jews sit on the Synagogue Councils. In San Diego, acceptance has been a little slower, although the Agency for Jewish Education has invited the congregation to participate in some programs.
The major controversy within this San Diego congregation was about whether or not to accept the extraordinary gift of a Torah smuggled out of war-torn Czechoslovakia, which was donated anonymously by one of its members. The problem was that for theistic religions, the scroll is viewed as a sacred object kept in a special ark and opened with special rituals and prayers and then carried around so that worshippers could touch and kiss the outside of it. For the Jewish Humanists of San Diego, it represents a daring attempt by secular authors to create a fair embryonic democratic legal system from scratch. It also represents the courage that dedicated and desperate people can accomplish when they value something more than their own lives. This particular scroll was taken apart and pieces of the parchment were brought out under the clothing of escapees from Europe. It was brought to Brooklyn and put together by a Chabad shul and kept for many years before it was put on the market. Explaining this history resolved the controversy; now adults and children study Torah under Dorfman's tutelage. "It is a fabulous source of wisdom and delight," she says, "especially if it is approached as secular literature." She has written secular adaptations for 24 chapters of the Hebrew Bible.
Dorfman faced a small controversy a few years ago when she made comments about Menachem Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, that some took as insulting. "I received a series of weird phone calls from heavily accented (European) male voices accusing me of all sorts of evil against the Jewish people," Dorfman remembers. This eventually stopped.
Several years ago Dorfman served as president of National Society for Humanistic Judaism. "This experience was not rewarding for them or for me," Dorfman remarks. She declined further comment.
"When my father was dying, I was by his bedside when his Orthodox rabbi came to see him. He introduced me to his rabbi as his atheistic and very Jewish daughter, 'the rabbi.' (Dorfman does not refer to herself as "rabbi.") He kvelled and I cried," Dorfman remembers. At Shabbat services, during the month of his yahrtzeit, Madrikha Toby Dorfman says Kaddish for her father.
Jewish History
When: Fourth Sunday of each month
Where: Humanistic Jewish Congregation, 9466 Black Mountain Rd., Suite 120, San Diego
For more information, call (858) 549-3088.