Through triumph and travels, Raphael Silverman, of Raphael’s Party Rentals, has stayed true to a few simple values: family, hard work and Jewish continuity.
By Audrey Jacobs
In Ireland in the 1950’s, Raphael Silverman was part of a vibrant Jewish community. There were enough Jews in Dublin to support eight kosher butcher shops and a dozen synagogues ranging from one-room shteibles (prayer halls) to the elegant Greek-columned Greenville Hall Synagogue.
“Jews were part of the successful middle class,” says Silverman, now 78. “I was fortunate to own businesses and property. In Dublin, because we were such a small minority, they left us alone. You just didn’t tell anyone you were Jewish.”
Hard work was a constant from an early age. At 14, Silverman started working as a bicycle messenger. “Fortunately at age 18, my mother introduced me to Kitty and my life began.”
Together, they opened a general goods store called Kitty’s and three years later they got married. It wasn’t long before they began having the first of their four children. They sent their children to the state-sponsored Orthodox Jewish day school.
“It was either that or a Protestant or Catholic school,” recalls Silverman. “Each religion had its own schools from Kindergarten through 12th grade. At that time, other high schools still didn’t accept Jews.”
Eventually, Kitty’s became an equipment rental store. But as Raphael’s family and business bloomed, the Dublin Jewish community began to wither.
Three hemorrhages began systematically reducing the Jewish population in Ireland from its peak of nearly 5,000 in the 1940’s to less than 1,000 today: first intermarriage, then the birth of Israel and finally emigration for better economic and social opportunities.
“By the early 1970’s we were down to one place to buy kosher food,” said Silverman. “We wanted a Jewish community to raise our children. That’s why we began our search to leave.”
Considering the Homeland
It was Yom Kippur morning, 1974, in the town of Netanya when Raphael and Kitty Silverman leaned over their balcony and experienced – complete silence. “That was the most poignant moment of our 10 months of living in Israel,” said Kitty, “We were Jews surrounded by Jews.”
The Silverman family tried to make Israel their home. Raphael opened a washing machine repair business (even though he didn’t know anything about them.) Kitty enjoyed how easy it was to buy kosher food and walk to shul.
“Raphael even starting bringing me Shabbat flowers every Friday afternoon,” recalls Kitty.
But the children began attending a secular school and started losing touch with their religion. “We had belonged to an Orthodox shul, but only went three times a year,” admitted Silverman. “The day school had been the foundation of their Jewish learning and they were forgetting what they knew.”
Eventually the language barrier was too much for Raphael and they returned to Ireland. “I didn’t think my Irish accent was so thick, but no one could understand me,” said Silverman. “It was too hard to do business with hand motions.”
Sunny San Diego
After experiencing the warm weather of Israel, when Raphael returned home to Ireland, for the first time he realized how awful Irish weather was and longed for a warmer home.
The Silvermans first visited San Diego on a family trip in 1978.
“I had a cousin in San Diego, but I had no clue where it was,” said Silverman. “I knew it was in California and it was warm.”
Immediately after arriving to San Diego, before visiting the Zoo or any other attractions, Raphael took his family to Soille San Diego Hebrew Day School and Beth Jacob Congregation.
Silverman was convinced this is where he wanted to move his family. Unfortunately he had to wait two and a half years to get a green card. Once he got it, the Irish government told him he had four months to get out.
“I was thrilled. I sold my business and was ready to retire in San Diego,” said Silverman. “But after I moved there, put my youngest kids at Hebrew Day School, paid the mortgage and the car payment, I had nothing to live on. I had to go back to work.”
Raphael remembered what his colleague in the rental business told him at his going away party in Ireland, “When you get to America, open a party rental store.”
“What’s that?” said Silverman. “People pay you to rent chairs for a party?”
Silverman heeded the words of his friend and began interning for free at Classic Party Rentals. After one week, the owner said, “You need to leave, you know enough.”
Within three months, Raphael Silverman opened “Raphael’s Party Rentals” at a small storefront in Pacific Beach.
“To build my business, I joined every committee at Beth Jacob Congregation and got on the board of Hebrew Day School,” said Silverman. “Through the initial support of the Jewish community I was able to build my business quickly.”
Now Raphael’s Party Rentals has grown to fill a 110,000-square-foot building on Miramar Road and handles rentals for hundreds of weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs and corporate events a year.
We’ve Seen and Done it All
“There’s no job too big or too odd for us,”
says Silverman. “For example, a wealthy family rented a tent to
put inside their house so they could have a food fight with expensive
food. We didn’t judge them, we just gave them good service.
“I have to admit though, the oddest sight I’ve
ever seen was a rabbi and priest marrying a couple at the same time….
That would never happen in Ireland.”
Raphael’s Party Rentals has handled weddings of all
sizes, denominations and locations. Recently, Raphael’s Party Rentals
managed a three million dollar wedding on the side of a mountain in Tijuana
for 3,000 people.
Raphael’s Party Rentals routinely handles the Miramar
Air Show and does the set-up for visiting U.S. Presidents. “The
big corporate work sustains us,” says Silverman, “but the
most meaningful work is the Jewish weddings and the Bar Mitzvahs.”
One of the most unique rentals Raphael’s does is Sukkahs.
Every year, the company visits around 250 homes, setting up frames, three
and half walls of tarp and wood slats across the top. Says Silverman,
“It’s not really profitable, but the joy you give a family
renting their first Sukkah is worth every penny.”
A Legacy of Community Service
In 2000, when Silverman had four of his grandchildren at Hebrew
Day School, then Board President Lionel Kahn asked him for help. The school
had been overly generously with scholarships and was running out of money.
“The rabbis, who are generous people and great educators,
were not good businessmen,” said Silverman. Silverman spent a year
turning the school around financially and still has a close watch on the
finances today.
“Thanks to Raphael, Hebrew Day now has responsible financial
management and the finances are in the black,” says Kahn.
Raphael also left a big impact on Beth Jacob Congregation
as a dedicated member and volunteer for more than 20 years. He served
as president in 1984 for three years and again in 1998.
“Whenever I need something, he is the ‘go-to
man who will never turn me down,” says Rabbi Avram Bogopulsky of
Beth Jacob Congregation. “In fact, Raph gets angry if I don’t
ask him for help.
Raphael also served on the board of Torah High School and
dedicated many hours to try to keep both the boys and girls divisions
of the Orthodox high school alive in San Diego. (Unfortunately, finances
forced Torah High School to shutter its boys’ division last spring.)
The Silvermans were even recognized nationally in 2003 with the Orthodox
Union’s National Community Leadership Award.
“The San Diego community has been good to us,”
says Silverman. “Our life is full of good friends, family and our
fifteen grandchildren. We accomplished our goal, to give our children
a strong Jewish life. It worked – all four of our kids married Jewish.”
When asked why he continues to give so much to Hebrew Day
School and Beth Jacob, Raphael said, “Now I want my grandchildren
to marry and be Jewish.”
Respecting the Family Patriarch
One of the surprising sights when meeting Raphael at his business
is that he shares his office with his eldest son, Philip.
“All of the kids have always worked with Dad. I know
many fathers and sons work together,” said Philip, “but I
bet not many share the same office or have as much fun as we do.”
The two banter back and forth, laughing often.
“After serving in the Israeli Army, I’ve been
working for Dad for 20 years, but we just started sharing an office seven
years ago,” said Philip. “Since then our relationship has
grown.... My Dad is amazing. He is self-taught in business and has succeeded
at anything he’s tried.
“But his most important attribute,” continues
Philip, “is his endless ability and desire to contribute to the
community. He has taught us to give back and we all do.”
Last month, Philip Silverman was installed as the new president of Beth
Jacob Congregation.
At every community event, Raphael is accompanied by his loyal
wife Kitty.
“I wouldn’t change him for the world,” says Kitty. “We’ve
been married 45 years and my only regret is we didn’t get married
sooner. It’s a pity there isn’t a few more people like him.”
For feedback, contact editor@sdjewishjournal.com.