THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER
Turns out, money can buy you love
By Macie Schreibman
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We’ve come a long way since the Beatles told us “I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love.” Patti Stanger, host of the new Bravo series, “The Millionaire Matchmaker” and founder of The Millionaire’s Club, lives her life as a complete contradiction of those words.

Combining traditional courtship and Jewish matchmaking, Stanger has taken the world of dating, and what some may call destiny, into her own hands. And though she may not use an arrow and fly around on wings of love, she has to be doing something right (seeing as she is the one behind over 300 marriages to date).

Stanger’s Los Angeles-based company The Millionaire’s Club was founded in 2000 with the concept that single, successful men needed an exclusive club where they could come and find the women of their dreams. In her own words, “they don’t have a lot of time on their hands, they are really busy, and they have a specific wish list,” so, Stanger takes the time to meet them and, “they basically give me all the parameters and then I hit the targets on the list.”
Stanger has made a living out of the company, along with the five members of her staff. And the tall brunette sees nothing wrong with paying for this matchmaking, quipping, “If you have that kind of money, you are going to outsource your love life… because who wants to go to clubs looking for love?”

Stanger has a few more dating rules that she believes that everyone should follow:
1. Get to know someone before you decide to date him or her exclusively (at least 90 days).
2. At the ninth month of exclusively dating, there should be some form of negotiation going on of “where are we headed?”
3. If a man hasn’t discussed marriage after a year, he doesn’t want to get married to you. “Four seasons is enough time for a man to make a decision,” she says. And she continues with the brutal truth, “Men who really want to get married will be asking buyer’s questions, like they are buying a car or a house.”

Stanger’s mother and grandmother were matchmakers for their synagogue. As a third generation matchmaker, her rules may just be dead on. “I think that one of the biggest misconceptions is people end up in relationships with people that don’t want the same things as them, just because the person is cute or they had great sex,” Stanger says. So, finally after building up her business, Stanger has a reality TV show.

Bravo saw potential in Stanger’s Club. The show portrays her day-to-day life with a bit of office drama and the reality of dating in the upper class. The Jewish matchmaker describes it as being about “my company, my staff, and the millionaire men that I fix up on the show and how I coach them all to success.”

Each hour-long episode features two different millionaires and their quest at love. Stanger and her staff work hard to gather the right women for each male and they are constantly screening new potential mates for each member. The women that are part of the club are not necessarily millionaires, but rather want to find a man they can raise a family with or retire with (depending on their age). “The women want the covenant relationship which means that they get to stay home and raise the kids while their husband goes off and slays the dragons at work,” Stanger said.

Stanger, however, doesn’t just fix up any old millionaire; they all must meet the requirements for the elite club. Stanger will not take on any man that has ludicrous expectations. “I have had people that are looking for something unrealistic, like a tall, Asian woman with blue eyes, 6 feet or taller… and I just don’t have that,” she said. So, she simply turns them away. “I have had men ask me to screen for real breasts… and you just have to go ‘I’m sorry’ that is something I wouldn’t do,” she confesses.
The Millionaire Matchmaker shows a pushy owner that runs her office with strict determination. She knows what she wants, and she wants her staff to have the same high standard for their clients. The proud 46-year old is also a strong believer in tough love and is not afraid to be completely honest with her clients.

“I look at their past history: what went wrong in their relationships? A lot of guys get divorced from this beautiful woman and what they end up doing is try to find the sweeter version of that girl because they are so fixated on the looks,” she explains. “And I am like, ‘stop trying to re-create your ex-wife!’ It’s a pattern people have, and they have to change their mojo and be open to all different types of people.”

People get hurt and close themselves off, and Stanger is there to pick them up and help them see past the old, and bring them into a life of change and progression. Stanger also says her show is completely different than any show on TV today. “All the things you want to bust a man on, I am busting.” She also says, “there are a lot of good fix-up stories on the show that we didn’t force… we just let nature take its course.”

As for her love life, Stanger has a boyfriend of four years that is semi-kosher and comes from a very traditional Jewish family. “We celebrate shabbos once a month,” Stanger says. “I am a food-Jew…you break out the food and I will be there,” Stanger says with a laugh. Where did she meet her nice, Jewish man? At her club, of course. A woman came to her wanting to be a matchmaker and Stanger gave her a test. Stanger had just broken up with a “bad boy” and was trying to move on, so she asked the woman to find her a decent, Jewish boy. The woman delivered.

“I gave her my list and she presented… he was my first date,” Stanger says.

Aside from her Jewish roots, Stanger is mostly proud of her ability to read people. She sees matchmaking as much more than a special talent. She feels is it a gift. “I think it is in my DNA and I can just naturally read people’s vibrations and put them together. I was also an astrologer for 10 years, so psychically I feel that I have an extra sixth sense in the love department,” she said. Stanger also said her job holds great rewards. “I am getting credits in heaven… there is a God and I am sure that I will be dining at his table someday.”

The Millionaire Matchmaker also promises a lot for its Jewish audience. Stanger shared that there is a total of five Jewish millionaires in the seven episodes. Stanger also said that there is a “Jewish twist” in the last episode which she could not reveal but was sure would be liked.

Stanger’s zingy attitude and love for matchmaking make the show undoubtedly entertaining, and without her firm grasp on the harsh reality of being single, there wouldn’t be a show. “Generally when someone is single, there is a reason for it,” Stanger said. “There’s the 10% [of men] that don’t care, the narcissist. They want what they want and when they want it. And those people deserve to be single, frankly,” she says from her years of experience. And though there are a lot of rules and regulations to become a part of the Millionaire’s Club, Stanger guarantees she will do her job and find each one of these successful men a match. Stanger is proud of her company and what she does. “Traditionally, matchmakers were Jewish,” she said. “And I would say that we are one of the oldest religions that really picked out who you mated with… and millionaire men come in all different shapes and sizes.”

• The Millionaire Matchmaker is on Bravo, Tuesdays at 10 p.m. For more information, visit bravotv.com.

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